DFW Fiber Fest

This weekend I attended the DFW Fiber Fest. Last year I just went for a few hours to shop in the vendor hall. This year I decided to take a full weekend of classes. It was exhausting, but I learned so much and met lots of wonderful people.

On Friday morning, I got a little bit of a late start with dropping my son off at my mom's house, but it wasn't truly late--just a little later than I had planned (I wanted to arrive early enough to register and look around in the vendor hall before my first class). I actually got there (Irving Convention Center) at a good time and found a great parking spot.

I noticed that there were two lines at the registration desk, so I got into the shorter line. I noticed that people kept getting into the longer line and wondered why. I had a nice chat with the woman behind me (it turns out that we were going to the same first class) and then we got close enough to the desk to see that the sign said registration for last names A-L. Oops! Not me. (And not the woman I had been chatting to either!) So we got into the other line, got checked in, and picked up our bags.

I kept my phone in my hand so I could keep an eye on the time and entered the vendor hall. Such color! Such yarn! Such fiber! Such awesomeness! I stopped by the MAFIA booth (the local group with the knit night that I go to each week) and said hello and did a quick walk up and down the aisles. Not wanting to risk being late for my class, I didn't look at anything too closely but got a good idea of what I wanted to go back to later to look closely at.

Up to my first class--Stop Turning! Knitting and Purling Backwards with Patty Lyons. I can honestly say that this class is going to revolutionize my knitting. Just imagine not having to keep turning your work when knitting flat. Imagine always having the right side facing you. Patty showed us not only how to knit and purl backwards but also how to decrease and even bind off. After a little practice, it actually started to feel pretty natural. I'm actually sad that my current projects are knit in the round because I want to do this more right away! (Guess I'll need to start a new project!)

Off to a super quick lunch (I ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in my car) and then actual shopping. There was just an overload of stuff that I was interested in. I passed by one booth that had several spinning wheels and thought about trying some out, but they were busy and I didn't have a lot of time (the downfall of doing a full weekend of classes), so I thought that I might try later. I know that I bought a skein of yarn, but I think that was the extent of my buying during this time. Before I knew it, it was time for my afternoon class.

This class was with Stephanie Pearl-McPhee aka the Yarn Harlot. It was called Knitting with Mawata (silk hankies). Stephanie is so down to earth and knowledgeable and approachable. It was fascinating to learn about how silk is made, to see the cocoons, and then to actually start making silk hankies ourselves. We each got to open a cocoon, remove the "passenger," and spread it out on a board. Spreading it out was hard! I really had to tug much harder than I thought--silk truly is strong. After we did that, Stephanie brought out already prepared and dyed silk hankies and showed us how to prepare them to actually knit using them and then we got started working on a baby bonnet pattern. I have to admit that I didn't truly love knitting with the silk hanky. Of course, that might be because it is something completely new and with practice it could be something that I like and that turns out a nicer project. But unlike the previous class, this is not something I'm rushing out to do again right away. But it's nice to have it in my knitting knowledge and perhaps I will return to it some day.

More food (again, quickly eaten) and some shopping. So, I did got back to the booth with the spinning wheels and decided that since I already have two Ashford wheels and like them, the Ashford Joy would be the one I was most interested in. Wait, did I just say that I have two wheels already? Why am I looking at another one? Well, the two wheels that I have are wonderful for at home spinning (I have one set up with a jumbo flyer and bobbin so it is my plying wheel and the other is my main wheel). But the Traveler, despite its name, is not a travel wheel. And I had spinning classes on Sunday and also want to take my wheel other places for spinning. So a true travel wheel is something I would really like. Plus this booth -- Trinity Ridge Alpacas -- had a sale for the fiber fest.

So I asked to try the Joy, which was a double treadle (my preference). I sat down, the super nice woman at the booth showed me how to fold and unfold it, and I got to spin a little. After making a few adjustments on the scotch tension, I was spinning right along and it felt very comfortable. The sale price was good, I liked that I could buy the one I actually tried, and I loved the idea of being able to carry the wheel around in a bag. So I took the plunge and bought it. Eek!

But I couldn't quite enjoy the wheel yet. It was almost time for the Friday night talk from the Yarn Harlot. So I ran the wheel out to my car and went back inside. I found a couple of MAFIA members and sat down with them to chat while we waited for the doors to open. We got inside and got decent seats (I did have some trouble seeing past the person in front of me) and some nachos. Some introductions were made and then they did some door prizes. They were picking numbers which were on the back of our tickets. I never win door prizes. So imagine my surprise when they actually called my number. I actually squeaked out, "Oh my god, that's me!" What did I win? A truly lovely skein of 50/50 buffalo/silk yarn. Wow!

My door prize!

Then Stephanie started talking. So much laughter in the room. She truly is a great speaker and knows how to time her stories and also just has funny stories. But toward the end of her talk, she did speak seriously about the fiber arts and other people's perception of knitters. And she is totally spot on. So much so, that it wasn't really a surprise to see the headline for the news article that was done on the Fiber Fest--something like "Knitting Makes a Comeback in North Texas" while not showing any examples of knitting during the news segment (lots of other fiber arts though). Stephanie's main point is that knitting hasn't gone anywhere so there is no comeback and also that knitting is more common than people realize. Yet people don't value knitting very highly and even we ourselves undervalue what we do. How many times, she asked, when someone compliments your knitting, do you immediately jump to downplay it or to point out the flaws? Instead, she said, we should take pride in our work and not dismiss it.

And she's right. The next day, I wore my Color Affection shawl, which uses three colors. This is a super popular pattern and it seems like everyone has made one. The color options are endless. I got several compliments on my shawl and one person said she thought that I did a really excellent job in choosing my colors (she said she's seen so many that had colors not chosen well). I have to admit that I've always thought that I am not good at picking out colors that go together. So I almost said something to that effect--"oh, I'm really not very good at picking out colors so I must have gotten lucky." But I remembered what Stephanie had said, so I took a deep breath, smiled, and said "Thank you. It was a lot of fun to pick out the colors and I'm really happy with how it turned out." And you know what? That felt good to say. And it's also true.

I drove back home Friday night, slept poorly (I think I was just too keyed up from everything that had happened that day), and got up early to head back. Even though it was tiring, I am glad that I drove home each day instead of stayed in a hotel. I liked spending a little time in the morning with Luke and Jarrett before heading back out.

Anyway, my Saturday morning class was Cable Variations with Melissa Leapman. Although it was fun to do the various sample swatches using some unusual cable patterns, I think the best part of the class was seeing all the samples that Melissa brought with her. She does some really awesome designs and I think that some of my sweater quantities of yarn are going to be used to knit some of her sweaters from her book Knitting the Perfect Fit. Really neat designs to create shaping or the illusion of shaping.

After that class, I met up with my friend Emily for another super quick lunch and some shopping. Both of us bought some fiber and got to catch up with each other. But once again, it was time for my afternoon class all too soon, so off I went.

This was another class from Stephanie--Knitting for Speed and Efficiency. We talked about the movements made while knitting and she showed us, using pictures, about the evolution of things such as how we hold our hands while knitting (which actually makes things more difficult but looks more elegant--if you can't guess, it happened during the Victorian era). We did a test to get our stitches per minute number and then we talked about specific ways that we could change just a few things in how we knit to become more efficient as well as faster. She then taught us about lever knitting and we got to try it (she is a lever knitter herself). It was a little awkward, but I could see how, with practice, it could become a much more efficient way to knit. We then did the test again to check our stitches per minute time while trying at least one thing we had learned about. And, for me, just changing a little with how I held my hand and how I turned my work at the end of my row, I went up almost 5 stitches per minute!

One of the things that Stephanie mentioned during class was the transmission of knowledge of knitting techniques. She suggested getting at least one really good knitting reference book and looking up questions about techniques there rather than asking on Ravelry or looking on YouTube. Why? Because, like Wikipedia, Ravelry and YouTube have user-generated content which is not always the most accurate. I have to admit that this shook up my world a little bit, but she's totally right. Why haven't I (who rail against using Wikipedia to my composition students) made that connection? And I think about when I recently looked up videos on YouTube for the Russian bind off. I watched three videos and each one demonstrated doing it a different way, which was more confusing than helpful. She also mentioned one thing to be more efficient is to make sure to use good patterns--and good patterns are usually ones which have been test knit and tech edited. That way, you're not the guinea pig who has to deal with errors or a poorly written pattern, which can cause frustration and definitely lots of inefficiency. She also said that we need to pay for our patterns because expecting a designer to test knit and tech edit a pattern (which costs money) and put out a quality pattern for free is not an expectation we should have. And I think this ties back to her talk the previous night about valuing what we do--we should also value what designers do.

After class, I asked Stephanie to sign my copy of her latest book and then I asked her about being a beginning designer. I told her that I wanted to make sure I was offering quality patterns and that I have been having them test knitted and I recently hired a tech editor. I wanted to know if I was on the right track and if there was anything else I need to do. She said that yes, I was on the right track, although after finding out how much I paid my tech editor she told me that I was being overcharged. I do like my tech editor, so unless she starts doing work I'm not happy with, I'm not going to go immediately find someone else, but it's interesting to know. I have to admit that I was shaking a little while I was talking to her and afterwards when I was walking back downstairs. But I'm so glad that I asked. But in the process of doing so, I totally forgot that I had wanted to get my picture taken with her, so that part didn't happen, alas.

A little more shopping (a little more fiber) and back home for the evening. I spent some time with my new wheel so that I would be more comfortable with it the next day in my classes. It spins so nicely!

Back up the next morning with my new wheel. First class was on drafting techniques with Abby Franquemont. The most popular wheel was the Ladybug, but I did see both a Traveler and a Traditional (I couldn't imagine carrying that one around). I finally learned how to do a long draw and I see how and when it would be a useful technique. It is definitely something that I need to practice, so I'll have to see how that goes. Back to the vendor hall, where I didn't buy anything this time around, as I was pretty much just wiped out. Back upstairs for my last class, again with Abby, called The Rut Buster. Here, we just played with fiber and tried to do completely different types of things both using our wheels and even not using them. And there was a lot of "team" spinning. Technically what we created would probably be defined as art yarn and it's not really my cup of tea, but I can see how doing something like that for a while would help break some of the ingrained habits we might have with our spinning.

There's more that happened on the last day in the classes, but like the weekend, this post is pretty long and I'm getting tired. I'm glad that I tried the full weekend of classes, but I don't think I'll be doing that again. Taking a class or two, yes, but doing a full weekend is just too much to take in all at once! But I had a great time, met some nice people (gosh, I didn't really write about any of them!!), and saw beautiful fiber all around.

My new wheel along with the fiber and yarn I bought (or won!)

Working with a Tech Editor

So my Criseyde scarf is currently with a tech editor, who along with tech editing is also helping me create a layout and style sheet to use for it and future patterns. She sent along a couple of options for the layout and I'm amazed at how a few tweaks here and there (with some suggestions that seem so obvious yet not since they didn't cross my mind!) can make a big difference. Tomorrow she is creating the chart and doing the actual tech editing. I'm excited to see how everything is coming together! Stay tuned for an updated look for Criseyde!

In other news, I've been trying to plot out the decreases for the hat (did anyone guess hat) pattern I'm developing. I'm using graph paper to plot it out after I did some trials on the swatch. I know what I want the top of the hat to look like and now it's just a matter of figuring out the best way to get it to come out that way! I hope to finish that part tonight so I can write up a draft and then get started knitting the actual hat tomorrow.

New Design Sneak Peak

My cowl pattern is going through test knitting. My scarf pattern is with my tech editor (who will be suggesting some layout options). And I have a new design in my head and just started on the needles. Here is a sneak peak of the tiny bit I finished today:

This is not the actual item. It is a swatch so I can make sure the stitch patterns work together and also that the decreases that will be needed will work out. What do you think it will be?

Budding Designer

In 2012, I created a design for a scarf, had it test knit, and released the pattern on Ravelry (Criseyde scarf). It has 29 projects (including my own) and has been queued 99 times and downloaded 1212 times. That's pretty exciting to know that something I created is being viewed and used by other knitters.

I've been wanting to "become" a knitting designer for a while, but the move to Texas, getting my freelance copy editing business running, and taking care of my two-year-old son has pushed the knitting designer ideas to the side. And I could continue letting other parts of my life get in the way and always think about what if rather than making it actually happen.

I found myself looking for an infinity scarf (long cowl) pattern on Ravelry. I had an idea of what I wanted but I wasn't finding a pattern that matched what I had in mind (biggest thing I wanted was that it be knit in the round not knit like a scarf and then joined into a circle). So I decided that I would make my own pattern.

I spent a couple of days going over stitch dictionaries and doing some swatching. Then after doing a gauge swatch, I figured out how many stitches to cast on for the length I wanted. I started with the long cowl length but kept in mind that I wanted to include a version for a shorter cowl so I tried to make my numbers where it would be easy to divide in half for the short version.

I plotted the lace pattern and decided to do a 3x3 ribbing to help blend into the lace pattern. I started knitting my ribbing and then started the lace pattern. And I got halfway through what I had figured out was the halfway point, or so I thought. I seemed to have a lot more than half of the stitches remaining on my needles. I looked back at the pattern and realized that I had included the outside border for the lace pattern as part of the continuing pattern (rather than just on the edge). Oops. I tinked back to the ribbing and went back to the drawing board.

Armed with a new plan, I set off knitting once again, thrilled when I came to what was supposed to be the halfway point and it actually was the halfway point. In this plan, I had two lace patterns and put them in panels, something like 7 repeats of one, some ribbing, and 7 repeats of the other, more ribbing. Once I finished the cowl, I realized that I actually hated the ribbing in between the pattern repeats. Back to the drawing board.

I experimented with intermingling the lace patterns a little more rather than keeping them segregated. I then knit it again, this time doing the short size. Much better. In fact, I think it's a keeper this way, so I blocked it and snapped a few pictures and posted a call for test knitters. In less than 24 hours, I have already had 6 test knitters come forward (looking for 8 total), so I'm thrilled to see their progress and see what they have to say about the pattern.

I am also on the hunt for a tech editor. As I opened up the Criseyde pattern to use it as a template for Lady Bertilak, I realized that I do not like how Criseyde looks. Graphic design is not one of my strong points (I did take a graphic design class in college but that was a long time again) and it shows. So I searched through some lists and recommendations of test knitters and narrowed it down to four possibilities. I then contacted two of those and am currently finding out what they can offer and which one might meet my needs better. Doing this makes me feel more like a "real" designer, as in professional. It's an exciting feeling.

I'm also wondering about creating a logo. I have my karendawn logo that I had someone create a few years ago for my etsy shop, but I'm not sure that it's the right one for my patterns. First of all, it has a sewing needle and thread along with the knitting needles and yarn since I also sold items I had sewn along with my handspun yarn and knitted items. So I think doing something new might be good and will start looking into that.

I also updated my website - karendawn.com - to reflect more of the pattern designer than the etsy seller that it used to be about. It's just a bare bones set up right now to get something off the ground, but I'll also be looking to add to it as I go.

I have several other ideas in my head, mostly for hat and cowl patterns. I think I'll work on a hat next so I can start with a variety of types of projects.

Hot Wheels Hanging Storage

Luke has a ton of Hot Wheels. It's hard to resist when they cost just $1 each. But those little cars just end up all over the place and finding a way to store them has become a challenge. So I decided to create a wall hanging with pockets to hold cars.

First, I searched online, especially through Pinterest, for some type of tutorial for making this. I found one but it wasn't really detailed (ex: it used a hanger at the top but did not state how it created the top to include the hanger--I probably could have figured that out but I didn't like how vague the instructions were). Other people wrote a little about what they did and usually pointed to the first tutorial that I found.

Finally, I decided just to wing it. I've done a wall hanging with pockets before (although it's been a while), so surely I could do this. I went through my fabric and found the Hot Wheels fabric that I knew that I had. So pocket fabric done. Now for the backing. I realized that I don't have a lot of neutrals. I also didn't think putting the Hot Wheels fabric on a Star Wars background would look all that great (although I do have some great Star Wars fabric). Then I unearthed some Mustang fabric that I now remember my MIL giving to me. I checked out the size and realized that it would be perfect.

I probably should have added some type of interfacing to the fabric, but I decided not to (mostly because I wanted to do it then and not have to go buy interfacing). So I just made a giant rectangle, creating a casing at the top for a dowel rod to go through. Then I measured some of the Hot Wheels to determine how tall the pockets should be. I made the first one and sewed it to the bottom of the backing. I then again used a car to measure and created the individual pockets. That turned out okay, so I measured and figured out I could fit four more rows of pockets and started making those.

Of course Luke woke up from his nap when I needed just 15 minutes or so more to finish it all up. I stupidly then tried to finish it anyway, so nearly an hour later I finally got it done. The next morning, I went to Home Depot for a dowel rod. After walking up and down the aisle that they were supposed to be in and not seeing any, I started looking for someone to help me. Okay, so every time I'm in Home Depot, I always have so many people trying to help me but I never need help. Here's the one time I needed help and the place was deserted! I finally noticed that the dowel rods were placed very unobtrusively (i.e., hidden) and got the size I had determined I needed. But then I needed it shorter. What to do? Still no one around to help. Apparently there is a little cutting center there for customers to cut things themselves. Okay. I measured the dowel rod, drew a line with a pen from my purse, and grabbed the saw. The first saw was dull and didn't want to cut. So I tried the other one. That one worked but it took me a little while to cut through my 1/2" dowel rod.

Took it home and sanded the ends. Then I took out my drill and made a hole on each end so I could pass a cord through to hang it. That actually worked! I had a horrible vision of the drill shattering the end because I picked too big of a drill bit or didn't drill straight. But I got it right. Put the dowel rod in the wall hanging, added the cord, nailed a hook in the wall, hung the car storage, and added cars--which Luke soon thought was tons of fun to take out of the hanging! (Putting them back in wasn't quite as fun.)

Sewing Mojo Is Back!

Look out world, I am sewing again! I got my sewing machine two years ago for Christmas. After buying tons of stuff for sewing, I realized that it was hard to sew when you had to go grab stuff out of a closet and inevitably have to make multiple trips to the closet because you forgot something. I didn't have a dedicated space for sewing, so it was hard to fit it in during the gaps of time I had (when Luke is sleeping). With knitting, I just grab my yarn and needles and I'm off.

So when we bought this house, I wanted a dedicated space for sewing. Next month, we'll have been in the house for a year (really? It doesn't seem possible). Until just before Christmas, my sewing machine remained in its box because I just hadn't figured out where to put it. Our extra bedroom is our guest room as well as my office and crafting space. With the futon, desk, two printers, and a small bookshelf, I had no real surface space, especially space to leave out my machine.

I got the machine out to finish up a little stocking for the cats. At that time, I set up a folding table in a small space in our master bedroom and thought maybe I would keep the sewing machine there. But again I had the problem or having all my sewing supplies back in the closet in the other room. What to do?

I had been planning to get one of the Expedit units from Ikea for storage for this guest/craft/office space. I was trying to decide between a 4x4 and a 5x5 and it would go against the wall opposite the futon. But that would give me storage space without very much usable surface space. Back to the drawing board.

In the playroom, I have two 2x4 Expedit units sitting lengthwise along one wall. I love that setup. I realized that the wall in the guest/craft/office room under the window might be big enough to fit two of those units like that. I measured the shelves in the playroom. I measured the wall under the window. Could it be true? Would they be a perfect fit? If I had measured right, it was indeed the case.

Ikea is about 45 minutes away. My husband sold his truck and got a small car last summer. I have a small SUV. The boxes wouldn't fit in it. What to do? Paying for shipping is a bit ridiculous unless you order quite a lot. Well, my brother-in-law is visiting this weekend and he has a bigger SUV. My husband measured it and we determined that the boxes would fit. So off to Ikea we went this morning.

Back home, the guys went to see a movie and I tried putting Luke down for a nap. Today he decided a nap was a terrible idea. I still went ahead and put the shelves together. And you know what? My measurements were right! A perfect fit along the back wall with plenty of space for the futon still on the side wall. On the other wall, I moved an old computer desk which had housed my printer and put the filing cabinet underneath it (the other printer had been on top of the filing cabinet). I put the printers on the top of the new Ikea shelves. I also put my spinning wheels on the top as well as a couple of other things. Then I started filling up shelves. I still actually need to figure out exactly how I want to arrange things, but I now have my sewing and knitting materials at the ready. (Please excuse the bad photos. It's dark out and also the futon is currently down as we have a guest. But I wanted to include some pictures.)

My sewing machine is now on top of the old computer desk. My laptop is on my grandfather's old desk. When I am sewing, I will move the laptop and that desk will become my cutting table. I have an ironing board that hangs on the back of a door--I put it on the closet door so it opens out into the room.

To celebrate my new space, I finally made the drawstring project bag that I've been wanting to make for ages (tutorial here). There were a few places during the tutorial that I wasn't entirely sure, when I read them, that I understood, but once I actually tried it, it made sense. It was so nice, while I was working, to just reach over to the shelves and grab the supply that I needed. I definitely see more sewing projects in my future. (I also have my knitting needles and other supplies nicely organized. I think I'll get some of the large boxes that fit the full square on the shelf and put my spinning and weaving supplies in them.) I finally have a usable crafting space!!

Notice the cat hair on the bag. How appropriate!

It's a reversible bag, but I used the same fabric on both sides. I wasn't sure it would turn out so this one was a bit of an experiment. I love it, so experiment results are excellent!

Doctor Who Christmas 2013

I started watching Doctor Who a few years back, picking up with the new version starting with Nine (Christopher Eccleston). I had not seen any of the older episodes (though I am starting to do that now). I enjoyed it from the beginning and quickly caught up to the current episodes.

I remember when Nine changed to Ten. I wasn't used to the whole regeneration thing since I was new to Doctor Who. It took me a few episodes to get into David Tennant. I was rather stuck on Eccleston. But once I adjusted, I rather enjoyed Ten. (My husband and I have started rewatching from the beginning of the new series and I have to admit that I wasn't quite as fond of Eccleston this time around--I guess I really did adjust quite well to the new doctors.)

Remembering how I felt during the Nine/Ten change, I was a little hesitant to watch the episodes of the Ten/Eleven change. I really liked Tennant and he had more seasons so I was quite invested in him as the doctor. I finally broke down and watched my first Matt Smith episode. Wow. He had me from the very beginning and the whole fish fingers and custard part just really cemented it. With Amy and Rory, it just seemed like a perfect match. When Amy and Rory left, I still enjoyed Matt Smith but it wasn't quite the same. It seems like the dynamic of the three of them was really what worked so well. But even without them, he was still fantastic and his final episode really showed that. His eyes when he was an old man were just so expressive. What an amazing doctor Matt Smith made. (I'm not sure yet how I feel about Twelve. Obviously he's only had a tiny bit of screen time but we'll see how he goes and I will withhold any judgments until I give him a proper chance.)

Anyway, all of this is really to say that the speech that Matt Smith gives right before he regenerates is something that completely resonated with me and that helped resolve some of the things that have been going on in my head about my own life. Let me see if I can find a transcript so I can quote it here. Okay, thank you Reddit! Here it is:

It all just disappears doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment like breath on a mirror. Any moment now, he’s coming, The Doctor -- and I always will be. But times change and so must I. We all change, when you think about it. We are all different people all through our lives and that's okay, that's good. You've got to keep moving so long as you remember all the people that you used to be. I will not forget one line of this, not one day, I swear. I will always remember when The Doctor was me.

It's the part about us changing and being different people through our lives. I have to admit that I've been struggling about my decision to leave academia behind me and embrace my new role as mother and freelance copy editor. There are days when I am just exhausted at the end and as much as I love my son I think about how nice it would be to be back in a library or classroom, focusing on research or discussing a story we've all read. I was exhausted then, too, but it was a different type of exhaustion. I also think about how I never felt I had a break then (always had work to do or that should be done or grading and could never rest without feeling guilty), and I have that with Luke as well, obviously, just in a different way.

But that part of my life--grad school and academia--seem so far removed from me sometimes. It truly does feel like it was a separate life and I was a completely different person then. I think that's the part that I've been having a hard time reconciling. It's not that I want to return to that life. As frustrating and exhausting as raising a child can be, my current life is great overall and I wouldn't give up Luke to go back to academia (and I still agree that, for me, I couldn't do both with any measure of success in either). But I do sometimes miss that person that I was. And it feels strange to think about how different my life was back then. Was that really me? Am I really the same person?

And this speech from Doctor Who clarified things so much. Yes, that was really me. No, I am not the same person, but that is okay. We all change and become different people. That is life and there is nothing bad about that. But it's good to remember who I used to be because that has helped shape who I am now. So I will not forget who I used to be. And how appropriate that who I used to be is also a doctor--a doctor of philosophy (PhD).

Thank you, Matt Smith, for being such a remarkable Doctor. Thank you for giving life to this character and to those lines in your final speech. Thank you for helping me reconcile my old self and my new self. Goodbye, Raggedy Man.